- Gay Guys: All the hot guys are straight
- Straight Guys: All the hot girls are lesbian
- Lesbians: All the hot girls are straight
- Straight Girls: All the hot guys are gay.
- Bisexual Guys: All the guys are taken, All the girls are whores.
- Bisexual Girls: All the guys are whores, All the girls are taken
- Pansexuals: All you mothafuckas look alike.
- Asexuals: lol nope